Building a Relationship with God

10 Questions to see if you have a Genuine Relationship with God


How do you know if you have a genuine relationship with God?

Think of Him as a real person, and ask yourself the following questions to find out:

1. Do you not care whether or not God exists?

Have you ever felt a genuine need for God in your life? Do you even want God?

Are you sure you are not avoiding Him because you are afraid of what a real relationship with Him might mean for your life?

2. Are you angry at God?*

Maybe you “hate” Him because He gave you something you didn’t think you wanted? Maybe He allowed something to happen to you or someone that you love that you cannot understand? Maybe you feel Him drawing you closer to Himself but you don’t want to leave your current comfort zone?

Maybe, just maybe, you are afraid of him instead? Maybe you’ve never given Him a chance to explain Himself?

*This one, as surprising as it may seem, might even be a sign of the closest relationship with God in all 10 of these points. It’s hard to be angry at someone you don’t know or care about. In all likelihood, you are angry because of some misunderstanding on your part. There is always an explanation. He never makes mistakes…. Have patience and remember: only hindsight is 20/20.

3. Are you afraid of God? Or, do you see Him as silent, unapproachable, distant, cold or heartless?

Maybe you are afraid of Him challenging you? Changing you? Taking you out of your comfort zone?

Maybe you are afraid of Him “punishing” you?

Maybe you are afraid of Him ignoring you if you were to venture to speak to Him?

But, I ask you: if you knew Him, maybe you wouldn’t be so afraid? Maybe you would discover someone completely different than what you were afraid of?  How will you know if you don’t give Him a chance to introduce Himself?  (See also:  More than you Think I am – Danny Gokey)

4. Do you only ever ask for favors?

I ask you: How would you feel if someone only talked to you when they wanted to get something from you?

If this is your case your relationship might be one-sided or self-centered and might explain your “unanswered” prayers (more on this in an upcoming post).

5. Do you only ever complain?

Do you have any friends who, when you see them, only like to “vent”, whine, complain or otherwise cry about the unfairness of life?

Do you ever feel like tuning them out?

6. Do you see Him as controlling?

Do you think he is overly concerned with “rules, garb, or dictating your life?

Do the phrases “God’s will”, “vocation” or “calling” make you want to run away and do exactly the opposite?

Maybe you need to see what His will is before you decide that it is horrible?

7. Do you only say prayers from wrote memorization?

Are you afraid of trying to have a real conversation?

Note: Wrote prayers are a beautiful way to pray that someone else made up (newsflash) to help inspire us to pray on our own. They are a beautiful and important springboard to prayer but NEVER the be-all-end-all of a true relationship with a very real, very personal God who cannot be confined to a prayer card.

8. Do you never stop talking just to listen?

Are you one of those people who think that God is a one way street and you just have to keep talking no matter what in order to fill the silence so that you don’t have to face the fact that you might be afraid that if you stopped talking He might not still be there or that He might not talk back or that He might not keep listening… or be listening in the first place… or that… or that… or that… or that he might not even be real?  But if you keep talking you don’t have to think about it, so you just do?

Have you ever considered trying to talk to Him about what is really bothering you? Maybe giving Him a chance to get a word in edgewise to respond and calm your fears?

9. Are you sometimes ashamed to live your relationship with God in public?

Do you allow your relationship with God impact your life? Does it impact what you say, think or do on a day to day basis? Does it impact who you spend time with? What your goals, hopes and dreams are? Does it make you question your priorities?

How would you feel if your friends only wanted to admit their friendship with you in private?

10. Is your relationship with Him all touchy-feely? Are you addicted to the “Jesus high”?

Do you just go to church for all the “feels” – namely, the uplifting music, the great preaching, the gifts of the Spirit (speaking in tongues, being “slain”, healings, laughter, tears, etc)?

Do you ever say, “I don’t want to go to church because I don’t get anything out of it”?

This one is strangely reminiscent of a door-to-door salesperson, who only wants to be nice so that you will buy something from him, but, as soon as you don’t, all but spits in your face for “wasting their time”.

If your only motivation for doing something is to get something, how genuine can the relationship be?

genuine relationship with god

So, how do you know if your relationship with God is genuine?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you do not have a genuine relationship with God.

What to do about it?

Thankfully, there are many ways to build, grow and improve a genuine relationship with God. Follow my blog for tips and add your email below to get new posts sent directly to your inbox as well as updates, freebies, and info on upcoming courses, books and other amazing resources.

Read also – What does a true relationship with God look like?

#ParticularlyCALLED #Togetherinthetrenches #IamCALLED

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