Hello! I’m Carolyn!
I write to help you find the clarity, confidence, and courage it takes to follow God’s plan for your life (and ultimately discover your truest fulfillment in it).
- You ever wondered if God is real or if He cares enough about you to have a plan
- You have ever wished life came with an instruction manual (preferably one from the One who made you)
- You believe God has a plan for you, but but you wish it were more obvious so that you could be sure not to mess it up. Or, you are afraid that maybe you already have…
- You’ve ever tried checking all the boxes and doing all the “right” things but wonder why everything still seems so hard/miserable
Then you are in the right place!
I write for you because I AM you!
Ok, not really, obviously, but I’ve BEEN there!!!
I’m an overeducated, type A perfectionist whose life has been spent in one long stream of gut based decisions that I have questioned, doubted, analyzed to the point of becoming totally convinced that the most likely cause for my eventual death would be stress induced stomach ulcers.
The dreaded question
The most stressful words anyone has ever said to me are, “Congratulations! What are you going to do now?!?!”
*ENTER PANIC MODE*
The inevitable dreaded question from every well meaning adult at every major transition of a girl’s life.
Am I supposed to have all the answers?!?!
What if I commit and then realize I need to change my mind? How do I deal with all the expectations, all the pressure, and all the unknowns – Especially when everyone else has it all together already.
I tried all the things
Crossed my t’s, dotted my i’s, obeyed my dad, got straight A’s, worked my way through college, defied my dad, traveled the world (alone), dated way too many Latinos, turned down marriage proposals, scholarships, and job opportunities, considered the convent, agonized, regretted, and worried. In the end, it took a severe case of typhoid fever (nothing is beneath Him) and a devastating breakup to get me back home from my most recent stint in Latin America and in the right state of mind again to vow to seek God’s plan for my life, because mine clearly wasn’t working. I decided to take things seriously and get my Master’s degree…and a job while I was waiting.
It was at this interim job (that I was only doing to spend as much time OUT of my parent’s house as possible), that I would meet a very white, very not-my-type, very anti-social postal worker who is now the love of my life and the father of our 6 children.
After 2 years of adamantly NOT dating, we were married. Since then, we have navigated the pitfalls and challenges of marriage and rapid fire childbirth, family drama, job changes, and a complete cross country move with this same attitude.
God uses every event in our lives, positive or negative, simply to point us to Himself and to who we are meant to be.
It is only up to us to learn to respond well.
God has an incredible plan for your life.
His plan will surpass everything in your imagination with incalculable magnitude.
However, God’s plan isn’t necessarily about what we will do with our lives as much as it is about 2 FUNDAMENTAL, and completely inseparable elements:
Identity and Relationship
Life with God is like a Dance
And CALLING is the invitation.
His plan for us is a calling to Himself, an invitation to take His hand and let Him pull us close, to practice steps and grow in strength until beauty looks effortless. A series of subtle but nonetheless powerful movements, gestures, and eye contact, the dance is carried out in quiet everyday moments, feeling the rhythm of a heart that beats in sync with His. The invitation requires that we get to know Him intimately, that we learn to recognize His voice, and love Him enough to desire to follow it.
For me, this means marriage, parenting, and motherhood
His calling is often to the area of our greatest weakness.
I am not a natural mother, nor did I ever dream of having 6 kids. My comfort zone is much more suited to a spinstery college professor surrounded only by books and a bottle of fine Spanish wine. Alas, mine is a different life – of noise and broken things, of tears and messes and constantly feeding people. Never for a moment, however, have I doubted my call. This life was designed specifically for me. It is here I am learning what I am made of, and what I am made for. It is here that I am finding God.
Because your deepest calling,
is to find Him, and, in finding Him, discover yourself.
And so, my dear, my dream for you and for this site is to explore this idea of calling. It’s so much deeper than “decision making” – whether or not we should write a book or found a charity, get married or join a convent, have a baby or pick a career. It’s about pursuing God. In every season, in every moment, leaning in and staying open. Pursuing what brings you closer to Him and learning to say no to anything that leads you away. It’s about surrender, trust, and romance.
And He has chosen YOU!
I pray He uses my words to attune your heart to His movements in your life and give you whatever courage and clarity you need to accept His invitation.
We are in this together!