Is your FEAR holding you back from being who you were always meant to be? Doing what you were always meant to do? Do you ever wish you could just “get over it” already? Stop worrying so much?
Sometimes in our lives all we can see are the waves and the wind and our tiny little boat being tossed to pieces. We see only setbacks, failure, and obstacles. We see our best efforts being “wasted” against powers too great for us to combat. (Read also: Super-Human Strength) We see ourselves drowning already and yet somehow, someway, God has the audacity to ask more from us.
Lord, do you not care that we are perishing? … Why are you so afraid? He asked, Do you still have no faith” ~ Mark 4:37-40
Let’s face it. Let’s be real. Sometimes LIFE SUCKS!!!
It seems like recently I have found myself crying a lot… I can’t always tell if it is little stuff or big stuff. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe its just the accumulation of stuff with no chance to breathe in between. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but maybe its not.
Car accidents really do suck. Insurance companies suck. Broken major appliances suck. Dealing with money issues sucks. Extended family drama sucks. Addictions suck. Self-image issues and parenting troubles suck. Utter exhaustion with no end in sight sucks.
And the list goes on… [insert your troubles here]
This post isn’t going to tell you that what you are dealing with is “not so bad”. It isn’t going to tell you to “buck up”. “roll with the punches”, or “keep your chin up”. This post isn’t here to tell you you shouldn’t be hurting, especially if you have God in your life. This post is to validate you. To affirm your overwhelm. To tell you its ok sometimes to feel like you are drowning.
Because drowning is where everything can finally begin!
Do you ever find yourself worn out from trying so hard? Ever wonder if it is worth it to give your all? You are not alone! I say to myself at least 4 times a week (usually about parenting and houscleaning) “WHY DO I BOTHER???” For most things, giving your all is a depleting, energy sucking, soul crushing activity that almost always ends in futile defeat. We are simply not strong enough to meet our own expectations. But what if I told you that giving your all to a Relationship with God has exactly the opposite effect? Life-giving, energizing JOY, not to mention the actual strength we need to do everything else!
The other day I was complaining at God about myself. Seems like I do a lot of that… (Read also – Why, God?))
I was complaining that I am insufficient for the job He has been asking me to do. I’m not a patient enough mother, not a good enough listener, not an understanding or respectful enough wife. I am too quick to jump to conclusions and tend to think I have all the answers, but really it just makes me seem clueless and inconsiderate. I’m somehow unable to ever finish ordinary household tasks before my husband comes home from work at night and he ends up picking up my slack. (No, I don’t feel this is something I have to do, just something I love the idea of being able to do for him – trust me, it never happens).
Anyhow, I had a whole litany of my faults that I laid out at His feet to complain at Him for doing such a “poor job” when he created me.…