I am a worrier. I worry about everything. I worry about every single decision I make, from what to make for dinner to whether or not I should spend those $20 extra at the grocery store. I worry about my abilities as a wife and a mother. I worry about my eating habits, my weight, my beauty and my ability to be loved. I worry about my children and their futures. I worry about my husband and his health. I worry about the health of my relationships with friends and family members. I worry about my problems and other people’s problems ’til I can’t sleep at night. But there is one thing I no longer worry about
Are you ever angry about life? Don’t know why things are going the way they are? Are you having trouble believing that you can let go of control in your life in order to find peace? Despite your efforts, are your well-intentioned and well-designed life plans somehow not working out or living up to everything you imagined? Are you blaming it on God?
I have been trying to stay out of all this politics garbage because of all the beloved friends I have on both sides of the issue. I have felt the pain of women dear to my heart as they confessed to me that felt they had to no choice but to make decisions they try not to regret. I am also a mother who sees every day the beauty of the life of my children. I have personally experienced my own capacity for love grow to lengths I didn’t know were possible because of them. I am pro-love. I am pro-life. I am pro-woman. And I am so sick of all the fighting, bickering, bantering, arguing, attacking, and defensiveness. I am sick of everyone trying to be right and prove everyone else wrong… I can no longer hold back.
Often my kids are trying to get down off a bed or a chair or something and they inch themselves backwards off the edge until they can’t go any further without “falling” the last inch or so to the ground. But, what they don’t realize is how close to the ground they really are. Thus, when their little toes don’t touch anything they start screaming for help in sheer panic…. They’ve backed up too far to climb back up and can’t go back any further without losing their precarious hold on the bed sheets or the edge of the chair.I’m usually busy so I try to be reassuring and calming while continuing whatever it was that I was doing and tell them to just let go and they will be safe. I do this also to teach them to trust me. When I say it’s ok to let go, I want them to know, it’s ok to let go and that they don’t have to keep questioning me.
The same is true for God.