Everyone says I’ve got it all together, everyone looks at me in envy. Everyone sees my cute kids and my loving husband and thinks my life couldn’t be more perfect, that I must be living heaven on earth and that I couldn’t possibly emulate with anyone in tough situations. It is true that I am very blessed and have a life that seems picture perfect now (don’t let that fool you), but it hasn’t always been this way. I have a secret. I am NORMAL!
To my fellow mothers who are loosing themselves…
Wine, chocolate, the occasional beauty parlor visit, mommy groups, bubble baths and escaping to the grocery store alone isn’t the solution…. hate to break it to you. They are like medicine when you are sick but not the cure. The true cure for sickness is a healthy immune system and sleep. Did you know that you will die without sleep sooner than you will die without food? The tips I am going to share with you are as essential as rest and Vitamin C, ladies…. no medicine can replace overall health. So, how do we become a healthy us instead of a medicated us?
I watched a hilarious video from Imomsohard this morning about PostPartumDepression (if PPD could possibly be funny, they did it). Clearly it had gone pretty much viral with all the Fb shares. I laughed so hard there were tears coming out of my eyes. It’s not the first video like this I’ve seen either. There are so many people out there now who do these spoofs on the difficulty of motherhood, work, cleaning house and life in general. I mean, really, its what mime writers LIVE off of. Is it all comically difficult at times? Is it true that wine is sometimes an indispensable relief for daily struggles? Is it true that we reach adulthood and feel ourselves “loosing ourselves” to the irritations and inconveniences of work, family and life choices?
I went to my 32 week growth check ultrasound today. This pregnancy, while desired, has been excruciatingly hard for me in both physical and mental ways. I have had chronic nausea, insomnia, nightmares, exhaustion, dehydration, and anemia. I have been experiencing severe sciatic nerve pain and literal terror at the idea of undergoing a fourth labor. Yes, I know that in comparison to women with genuinely difficult pregnancies, this is nothing, but it has been all I can handle, especially with 3 toddlers. Mentally, all the physical symptoms have taken their toll as well.
Do you experience longing in your life? Longing for more? for relationships that actually matter? for answers? for truth? for honesty? Longing to be understood? known? appreciated? loved? Longing for freedom? freedom from pain? from weakness? addictions? depression? anxiety? stress? money? regret?
Do you get frustrated by failure? Do you feel that all too often your best efforts and best laid plans are thwarted by irritating nothings that somehow have the power to ruin everything? I’m pretty sure most human beings can agree that we aren’t the biggest fans of not measuring up to our own standards, or, even worse, to the standards we feel others place on us. As disappointing as it may be, we are all human, and part of being human necessarily entails weakness and imperfection. How can we ever find peace with our reality if we are trying to become something we are not (namely, perfect)? Is there any way to see our weakness in a more positive light?
So many people think that being yourself happens by doing stuff that “makes you” you. We fight so hard and so long to have the right job, the right clothes, the right car, phone, relationship, financial or social status so that we can prove to others who we “really are”. But isn’t this just us trying to create for ourselves a worth to fill the void within us that comes from not really knowing?