Let’s face it. Let’s be real. Sometimes LIFE SUCKS!!!
It seems like recently I have found myself crying a lot… I can’t always tell if it is little stuff or big stuff. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe its just the accumulation of stuff with no chance to breathe in between. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but maybe its not.
Car accidents really do suck. Insurance companies suck. Broken major appliances suck. Dealing with money issues sucks. Extended family drama sucks. Addictions suck. Self-image issues and parenting troubles suck. Utter exhaustion with no end in sight sucks.
And the list goes on… [insert your troubles here]
This post isn’t going to tell you that what you are dealing with is “not so bad”. It isn’t going to tell you to “buck up”. “roll with the punches”, or “keep your chin up”. This post isn’t here to tell you you shouldn’t be hurting, especially if you have God in your life. This post is to validate you. To affirm your overwhelm. To tell you its ok sometimes to feel like you are drowning.
Because drowning is where everything can finally begin!
Do you ever find yourself worn out from trying so hard? Ever wonder if it is worth it to give your all? You are not alone! I say to myself at least 4 times a week (usually about parenting and houscleaning) “WHY DO I BOTHER???” For most things, giving your all is a depleting, energy sucking, soul crushing activity that almost always ends in futile defeat. We are simply not strong enough to meet our own expectations. But what if I told you that giving your all to a Relationship with God has exactly the opposite effect? Life-giving, energizing JOY, not to mention the actual strength we need to do everything else!
I have been trying too hard. Yep, I’m a perfectionist. I’ve struggled with perfectionism every single day since I can remember…
I have been trying to be the best mom in the world. I have been trying to have the most desirable website in the world. I have been trying to be the best wife in the world. I have been trying to make sure I have the best course in the world. I have been trying to make sure I know everything about everything in order to be the best I can be at everything.
But, my constant result is complete and utter overwhelm, burnout, exhaustion, frustration, and despair.
Every time I decide, today is the day when I am going to succeed, inevitably I fail.
It is time to recognize a reality. I’m not perfect. I’m just me. I can only do what I can do, nothing more.
And THAT’S OK!
I was trying to get ready to leave on a trip with my husband. We were finally completely packed and ready to go… all I had left to do was put the kids to bed so we could wake up bright and early the next morning and head out….Then I remembered how I meant to fertilize all the plants and quickly spray down our fruit trees before we left. So, we all went outside… Fertilizer went well but, when I went to put the fruit tree spray in the hose attachment to do the trees, I discovered that there were two rather large cracks in the bottom of the container. Oil based bug spray concentrate was pouring everywhere!!!