Browsing Tag

Self-Discovery

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The other day I was complaining at God about myself. Seems like I do a lot of that… (Read also – Why, God?))

I was complaining that I am insufficient for the job He has been asking me to do. I’m not a patient enough mother, not a good enough listener, not an understanding or respectful enough wife. I am too quick to jump to conclusions and tend to think I have all the answers, but really it just makes me seem clueless and inconsiderate. I’m somehow unable to ever finish ordinary household tasks before my husband comes home from work at night and he ends up picking up my slack.  (No, I don’t feel this is something I have to do, just something I love the idea of being able to do for him – trust me, it never happens).

Anyhow, I had a whole litany of my faults that I laid out at His feet to complain at Him for doing such a “poor job” when he created me….

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Called to Be, Called to More, Called to Relationship, Called to Suffering

Called to an extraordinary life

We go through life surviving.  We strive to be “normal”.  We want to fit in.  We want to get by.  We want to just be comfortable.  But there is so much more to life than normal, so much more than ordinary.

There is a special plan for each and every one of us. We were created by love, for love. We were created for Paradise, for perfection, for greatness for fulfillment (see Longing).

But, this world falls short of what we were created for. We lose hope. We lose focus. We lose sight of our value and our purpose.

We need a reminder. We need to come back to what really matters. We need to remember that we are particularly called.

Called to Be

The Capacity of a Heart…

I thought Tarcisius was going to be a dejavu child, a replica, an afterthought, a double take. After all, when he was born he looked indistinguishable from my others and his birthday is the same week as 2 of them. I thought that the fact that we didn’t travel during his pregnancy to pick out his name (like we have with all the others) would make him less special. I thought that somehow he was going to get lost in the busyness of 4 children. I thought that he would forever live in the shadow of my first boy who even daddy is jealous of most of the time. I thought I wouldn’t have enough love to go around and that I wouldn’t be a good enough mom once I was stretched this thin… but I was wrong.

Called to Be, Called to More

Called to Live in the Present Moment – Appreciating Simple Beauty Again

When we focus on what we want and what we need we can have a tendency to forget what we already have. Last night I had a moment that reminded me again of the beauty of living in the present.

Lately I have been a nervous wreck. I’m finally full term pregnant with #4 and it feels like I’m a First Time Mom all over again.  I’ve been worried and anxious and even started hallucinating about being in labor, but still nothing. I have been freaking out about my older three kids being sick right as baby is due and how germy my house will be. My anxiousness and impatience has been zapping what little energy I have and causing me to be a bit of a grouchy wife and mama.  

Called to Be, Called to Relationship

Broken and Beautiful – How to Enjoy Being Yourself

Everyone says I’ve got it all together, everyone looks at me in envy.  Everyone sees my cute kids and my loving husband and thinks my life couldn’t be more perfect, that I must be living heaven on earth and that I couldn’t possibly emulate with anyone in tough situations. It is true that I am very blessed and have a life that seems picture perfect now (don’t let that fool you), but it hasn’t always been this way. I have a secret. I am NORMAL!

Called to More

Called to Begin Again – How to Let Go of Regret

I hate regret. I wish I could undo many things. I have seen the dark side of my choices. I wish I could make different ones. Who doesn’t know this feeling?

Our mistakes help us to form who we become. We have 2 options regarding how to approach them:

Called to Relationship

Love and Fear – A change in your heart…

I went to my 32 week growth check ultrasound today. This pregnancy, while desired, has been excruciatingly hard for me in both physical and mental ways. I have had chronic nausea, insomnia, nightmares, exhaustion, dehydration, and anemia. I have been experiencing severe sciatic nerve pain and literal terror at the idea of undergoing a fourth labor. Yes, I know that in comparison to women with genuinely difficult pregnancies, this is nothing, but it has been all I can handle, especially with 3 toddlers. Mentally, all the physical symptoms have taken their toll as well.

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