Browsing Tag

Humility and Honesty

called-to-be-vulnerable

I can’t even tell you how hard it is to write sometimes… and yet at the same time it is impossible not to write. I feel called, pushed, driven to share the deepest parts of myself so that even one person might be edified, encouraged or lifted up in some way. But, what if the opposite happens? What if I only let my readers down? What if I am no different or better than anyone else? What if my writing isn’t any good? What if everything I feel needs to be said has already been said before? What if my thoughts aren’t expressed well? What if I let those who believe in me down? What if I let God down? After all, isn’t this supposedly His plan?

I am almost constantly plagued by these feelings of inadequacy (Read also: Spiritual Warfare). For example, out of fear, I have already failed to post four times this week alone! (Not to mention the dozen or more posts that are pretty much written but still unpublished.)

How can God work with me if I refuse to respond to His promptings? How can I grow if I’m not willing to make mistakes?

I fight against vulnerability in my everyday life as well. It paralyzes me. I feel the “what if I’m not good enough” twinge in my heart and want to stop fighting, to run away and hide, to bury my talents in the ground, because it is safer (Matthew 25:18).

I am human. I am broken. I am far from perfect. But, imperfect or not, I am chosen. Broken or not, I am important. Being human is the key to my ministry. Being raw, open and honest is the only way to connect with souls who are equally broken and imperfect.

This is why Christ became man – to show us that He knew what it was like to be one of us – VULNERABLE to pain, loss, betrayal, abandonment, sadness, rejection and even death.

3 steps to practice vulnerability

  1. Ask yourself, how is He asking you to invest your talents (Matthew 25)? – Note, investments are never certain – Do you feel him tugging on your heart to do something? To give him something? More time? More money? More trust?
  2. Get more prepared for your “investment” / Grow in (humble) confidence – Take classes. Get more knowledgeable, more literate, more fit. Face your fears, your weaknesses, your pride, and your vocation (Read also – Will God’s will make me happy )
  3. Step out of the boat (Matthew 14:29) – Sometimes we have to step out in trust to find out that we do not sink. Sometimes we might lose sight of Him, but, don’t look at the waves! Remember, He will always catch your hand as you start to sink, to lift you up again! You have nothing to fear!

…and so I write. I step out of my tiny comfort zone of a boat and I set foot onto unsettled waters. What if it’s good? What if it’s bad? What if someone hates it? What if what if no one reads it? (And, worst of all) What if someone reads it?! None of that matters. All that matters is that He called me out of the boat and my eyes are fixed on Him.

How is He asking you to be vulnerable today? Are you holding back? Share below!


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Called to More, Called to Suffering

Called to Learn – The Secret to Recognizing Life’s Teachable Moments

The other day I was complaining at God about myself. Seems like I do a lot of that… (Read also – Why, God?))

I was complaining that I am insufficient for the job He has been asking me to do. I’m not a patient enough mother, not a good enough listener, not an understanding or respectful enough wife. I am too quick to jump to conclusions and tend to think I have all the answers, but really it just makes me seem clueless and inconsiderate. I’m somehow unable to ever finish ordinary household tasks before my husband comes home from work at night and he ends up picking up my slack.  (No, I don’t feel this is something I have to do, just something I love the idea of being able to do for him – trust me, it never happens).

Anyhow, I had a whole litany of my faults that I laid out at His feet to complain at Him for doing such a “poor job” when he created me….

Called to More

2 Prayers to Keep us Humble

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ~ Matthew 11:29

We’ve all heard that there are 2 things you should never pray for, humility and patience.  Why? Why because God might ask us to practice them, of course!

Scary, yes? but, worth it?  More than anything!

Called to Suffering

Called to Fight – The Ordinary Person’s Guide to Spiritual Warfare

My husband and I have been going through a string of hopeful days that somehow end in horrible nights – miscommunications, exhaustion, unkept promises, lack of time for each other, etc, etc, etc. A couple nights ago was the last straw…

After what seemed like an eternity of hostile silence, I finally asked my husband, “Do you think we are under attack?”

He answered quickly and flippantly, “Of course we are.  We are always under attack.”

Called to Suffering

“I don’t have time for this” …. God’s teachable moments

I was trying to get ready to leave on a trip with my husband. We were finally completely packed and ready to go… all I had left to do was put the kids to bed so we could wake up bright and early the next morning and head out….Then I remembered how I meant to fertilize all the plants and quickly spray down our fruit trees before we left. So, we all went outside… Fertilizer went well but, when I went to put the fruit tree spray in the hose attachment to do the trees, I discovered that there were two rather large cracks in the bottom of the container. Oil based bug spray concentrate was pouring everywhere!!!

Commence parental freakout!

Called to Relationship

Called to Believe in God – (Second “Level of Love”)

Do you experience fear?  Do you find yourself worrying about things that are not within your control? Do you wonder why your prayers go “unanswered”?  Do you wonder why you “never see” any more miracles?  Is it because God is far away and has forgotten us? No, it is because of our lack of belief.   

Called to Be

Called to be Humble – Why Humility ISN’T a Betrayal of Self

How do you feel about the way others see you and the way you see yourself? Did you ever try to put on a front hoping to make someone else see you in a different light than how you see yourself? Have you ever thought about it? There’s a whole new craze of self esteem promos out lately… how are those working out for you? Does repeating a mantra change the way you see yourself?  Does it ever make you feel torn between worlds when the way you see yourself, the way others see you and the reality of who you want to be don’t seem to match up? Have you ever asked why?

Called to Be, Called to Relationship

Broken and Beautiful – How to Enjoy Being Yourself

Everyone says I’ve got it all together, everyone looks at me in envy.  Everyone sees my cute kids and my loving husband and thinks my life couldn’t be more perfect, that I must be living heaven on earth and that I couldn’t possibly emulate with anyone in tough situations. It is true that I am very blessed and have a life that seems picture perfect now (don’t let that fool you), but it hasn’t always been this way. I have a secret. I am NORMAL!

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