Browsing Tag

God’s Will

called-to-be-vulnerable

I can’t even tell you how hard it is to write sometimes… and yet at the same time it is impossible not to write. I feel called, pushed, driven to share the deepest parts of myself so that even one person might be edified, encouraged or lifted up in some way. But, what if the opposite happens? What if I only let my readers down? What if I am no different or better than anyone else? What if my writing isn’t any good? What if everything I feel needs to be said has already been said before? What if my thoughts aren’t expressed well? What if I let those who believe in me down? What if I let God down? After all, isn’t this supposedly His plan?

I am almost constantly plagued by these feelings of inadequacy (Read also: Spiritual Warfare). For example, out of fear, I have already failed to post four times this week alone! (Not to mention the dozen or more posts that are pretty much written but still unpublished.)

How can God work with me if I refuse to respond to His promptings? How can I grow if I’m not willing to make mistakes?

I fight against vulnerability in my everyday life as well. It paralyzes me. I feel the “what if I’m not good enough” twinge in my heart and want to stop fighting, to run away and hide, to bury my talents in the ground, because it is safer (Matthew 25:18).

I am human. I am broken. I am far from perfect. But, imperfect or not, I am chosen. Broken or not, I am important. Being human is the key to my ministry. Being raw, open and honest is the only way to connect with souls who are equally broken and imperfect.

This is why Christ became man – to show us that He knew what it was like to be one of us – VULNERABLE to pain, loss, betrayal, abandonment, sadness, rejection and even death.

3 steps to practice vulnerability

  1. Ask yourself, how is He asking you to invest your talents (Matthew 25)? – Note, investments are never certain – Do you feel him tugging on your heart to do something? To give him something? More time? More money? More trust?
  2. Get more prepared for your “investment” / Grow in (humble) confidence – Take classes. Get more knowledgeable, more literate, more fit. Face your fears, your weaknesses, your pride, and your vocation (Read also – Will God’s will make me happy )
  3. Step out of the boat (Matthew 14:29) – Sometimes we have to step out in trust to find out that we do not sink. Sometimes we might lose sight of Him, but, don’t look at the waves! Remember, He will always catch your hand as you start to sink, to lift you up again! You have nothing to fear!

…and so I write. I step out of my tiny comfort zone of a boat and I set foot onto unsettled waters. What if it’s good? What if it’s bad? What if someone hates it? What if what if no one reads it? (And, worst of all) What if someone reads it?! None of that matters. All that matters is that He called me out of the boat and my eyes are fixed on Him.

How is He asking you to be vulnerable today? Are you holding back? Share below!


#Togetherinthetrenches #ParticularlyCALLED

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Called to Suffering

“I don’t have time for this” …. God’s teachable moments

I was trying to get ready to leave on a trip with my husband. We were finally completely packed and ready to go… all I had left to do was put the kids to bed so we could wake up bright and early the next morning and head out….Then I remembered how I meant to fertilize all the plants and quickly spray down our fruit trees before we left. So, we all went outside… Fertilizer went well but, when I went to put the fruit tree spray in the hose attachment to do the trees, I discovered that there were two rather large cracks in the bottom of the container. Oil based bug spray concentrate was pouring everywhere!!!

Commence parental freakout!

Called to Be, Called to More, Called to Relationship, Called to Suffering

Called to an extraordinary life

We go through life surviving.  We strive to be “normal”.  We want to fit in.  We want to get by.  We want to just be comfortable.  But there is so much more to life than normal, so much more than ordinary.

There is a special plan for each and every one of us. We were created by love, for love. We were created for Paradise, for perfection, for greatness for fulfillment (see Longing).

But, this world falls short of what we were created for. We lose hope. We lose focus. We lose sight of our value and our purpose.

We need a reminder. We need to come back to what really matters. We need to remember that we are particularly called.

Called to Be, Called to Relationship

In the Face of the Cross… A reflection on Psalm 22

Last week I was told to reflect on Psalm 22. I had been crying to my friend about the trials of bedtime with 4 littles and a tired mommy especially when daddy isn’t there to help…. and my prayer was a beautiful experience, not just, I think, for mothers but for anyone trying to live out any vocation or, simply, a truly Christian life.

The Psalm is meant to be a foreshadowing of Christ’s sufferings at Calvary and the biggest shock I had was how much I related to it – how we all can relate – how much it felt like the Psalmist was describing my own life at that moment (minus the melodramatic psalmist vocabulary choices – or maybe with them – I’ll let you decide – haha).

Called to Relationship, Called to Suffering

God designs our seasons… Happy Lent!

When God has a plan it trumps everything else.

I knew I would probably go into labor this week but that was the tiniest fraction of what would happen. After nearly 3 days of false labor Adam and I pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that “the kid was never coming out” and relaxed once again into our normal schedule.

Called to Relationship

Called to Dance – Step 3 – Following

Being a dancer “is one of the most difficult jobs. It is like the life of an ephemeral, this specific butterfly. We’re ugly at the beginning, but someone can see through our shell and help us grow… To finally die after few hours enjoying our gorgeous wings and technique to fly. But it is also a beautiful way to spend your life. It is worth the very hard work. When you go on stage, you’re giving your emotions to the world, you can express your inner world, become a goddess, die and then kill, transform yourself over and over again. …Don’t be afraid to throw your soul to your audience, if you want this sort of life.'” – Charlotte Landreau,  Martha Graham Dance Company  (NYC Dance Project – Artists without Borders)  (see image below)

Called to Relationship

Called to Dance – Step 2 – Listening

In the finale dance scene from the movie Strictly Ballroom the music is cut in order to prevent the couple from continuing their dance. Scott, the male main character, remembers Fran’s (the female lead) grandmother encouraging him, “Listen to the Rhythm. Don’t be scared!” He pauses a moment to gather himself and, despite the lack of audible music, the two finish the dance and all those present are in an uproar at the sheer beauty of the performance. This ability to listen in our hearts is the key to being able to follow in the dance.

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