Browsing Tag

Control vs Surrender

called-to-be-vulnerable

I can’t even tell you how hard it is to write sometimes… and yet at the same time it is impossible not to write. I feel called, pushed, driven to share the deepest parts of myself so that even one person might be edified, encouraged or lifted up in some way. But, what if the opposite happens? What if I only let my readers down? What if I am no different or better than anyone else? What if my writing isn’t any good? What if everything I feel needs to be said has already been said before? What if my thoughts aren’t expressed well? What if I let those who believe in me down? What if I let God down? After all, isn’t this supposedly His plan?

I am almost constantly plagued by these feelings of inadequacy (Read also: Spiritual Warfare). For example, out of fear, I have already failed to post four times this week alone! (Not to mention the dozen or more posts that are pretty much written but still unpublished.)

How can God work with me if I refuse to respond to His promptings? How can I grow if I’m not willing to make mistakes?

I fight against vulnerability in my everyday life as well. It paralyzes me. I feel the “what if I’m not good enough” twinge in my heart and want to stop fighting, to run away and hide, to bury my talents in the ground, because it is safer (Matthew 25:18).

I am human. I am broken. I am far from perfect. But, imperfect or not, I am chosen. Broken or not, I am important. Being human is the key to my ministry. Being raw, open and honest is the only way to connect with souls who are equally broken and imperfect.

This is why Christ became man – to show us that He knew what it was like to be one of us – VULNERABLE to pain, loss, betrayal, abandonment, sadness, rejection and even death.

3 steps to practice vulnerability

  1. Ask yourself, how is He asking you to invest your talents (Matthew 25)? – Note, investments are never certain – Do you feel him tugging on your heart to do something? To give him something? More time? More money? More trust?
  2. Get more prepared for your “investment” / Grow in (humble) confidence – Take classes. Get more knowledgeable, more literate, more fit. Face your fears, your weaknesses, your pride, and your vocation (Read also – Will God’s will make me happy )
  3. Step out of the boat (Matthew 14:29) – Sometimes we have to step out in trust to find out that we do not sink. Sometimes we might lose sight of Him, but, don’t look at the waves! Remember, He will always catch your hand as you start to sink, to lift you up again! You have nothing to fear!

…and so I write. I step out of my tiny comfort zone of a boat and I set foot onto unsettled waters. What if it’s good? What if it’s bad? What if someone hates it? What if what if no one reads it? (And, worst of all) What if someone reads it?! None of that matters. All that matters is that He called me out of the boat and my eyes are fixed on Him.

How is He asking you to be vulnerable today? Are you holding back? Share below!


#Togetherinthetrenches #ParticularlyCALLED

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

0 comment
Share:
Called to More, Called to Relationship

Called to be Filled – The Key to Receiving the Love we are Called to Give

We love because he first loved us.  ~ 1 John 4:19

I have been struggling a lot lately with being so needed. Anyone who is a mother knows this constant feeling all too well. You start to feel like your worth is purely utilitarian, like you don’t matter except when someone needs something – which they constantly do.  There is no such thing as free time, and when there is, you pretty much always spend it doing something necessary. With four littles now, the perfectionist side of me is ashamed to admit that I am completely at the end of my rope.

The thing is, it’s always when I get to the end of my rope that God teaches me. 

Called to More

2 Prayers to Keep us Humble

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ~ Matthew 11:29

We’ve all heard that there are 2 things you should never pray for, humility and patience.  Why? Why because God might ask us to practice them, of course!

Scary, yes? but, worth it?  More than anything!

Called to Suffering

“I don’t have time for this” …. God’s teachable moments

I was trying to get ready to leave on a trip with my husband. We were finally completely packed and ready to go… all I had left to do was put the kids to bed so we could wake up bright and early the next morning and head out….Then I remembered how I meant to fertilize all the plants and quickly spray down our fruit trees before we left. So, we all went outside… Fertilizer went well but, when I went to put the fruit tree spray in the hose attachment to do the trees, I discovered that there were two rather large cracks in the bottom of the container. Oil based bug spray concentrate was pouring everywhere!!!

Commence parental freakout!

Called to Relationship

17 ways to make more time for God in your Life

There are a million moms who are far more overwhelmed than myself (although I might beg to differ). Moms with more kids, more responsibility. Maybe you have a job in addition to parenting. Maybe you are a single mom and don’t have help. Maybe you aren’t a parent at all but you have a demanding job and many hobbies. No matter our status, life just always seems to be busy.

Called to Be

The Capacity of a Heart…

I thought Tarcisius was going to be a dejavu child, a replica, an afterthought, a double take. After all, when he was born he looked indistinguishable from my others and his birthday is the same week as 2 of them. I thought that the fact that we didn’t travel during his pregnancy to pick out his name (like we have with all the others) would make him less special. I thought that somehow he was going to get lost in the busyness of 4 children. I thought that he would forever live in the shadow of my first boy who even daddy is jealous of most of the time. I thought I wouldn’t have enough love to go around and that I wouldn’t be a good enough mom once I was stretched this thin… but I was wrong.

Called to Suffering

Finding Peace in our Crosses

In a homily in Assisi where Pope Francis reflected on why he chose his papal name, the Holy Father pointed out that  the peace of Christ is born from the love of the Cross. Every human being has a cross. For some it may be their physical health or that of loved ones, for some it may be more related to financial or emotional well being. For some it may be combinations of all of the above. The point is, we all have crosses and we all suffer. Our tendency is to want to run from that which causes us pain, to escape it, to avoid it.

But, I challenge you, not this Lent.

Called to Relationship, Called to Suffering

What Your Lent should REALLY be about!

What is Lent all about?  Why do we have this season anyway? Is it about giving up candy, Netflix, Facebook and meat? Why all the focus on “sacrifice”? Why do we fast? How do we decide what to “give up”? Why do we pray? How do we pray? Why do we spend this time focusing on filling food banks and upping our tithe?  Is it just a good time of year to make us feel guilty about everyone less fortunate? Just a good time of year to make us feel guilty about being fortunate? a time of year to make us feel guilty about what we give up or don’t give up? about whether we meet or don’t meet our resolutions?

If we don’t experience the extreme levels of guilt often characteristic of this Season we might find ourselves experiencing other “non-lenten” emotions such as apathy or resistance. “I’m a good person, why should I have to do anything different”? or “I hate lent because I just can’t deal without my daily Starbucks” It is true that Lent encourages us to make sacrifices, to die to ourselves like Christ, to give more, to work harder, to move outside our comfort zone…. but the purpose often gets lost in the details. Let’s get back to what really matters!