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Lessons from My Relationship with God

Posts focusing on lessons I have learned from my personal relationship with God.

Covering topics such as:

Motherhood, Marriage, Writing, Prayer, Self acceptance and Personal Growth.

invite-god-mess-combatting-perfectionism

I have been trying too hard.

I have been trying to be the best mom in the world. I have been trying to have the most desirable website in the world. I have been trying to be the best wife in the world. I have been trying to make sure I have the best course in the world. I have been trying to make sure I know everything about everything in order to be the best I can be at everything.

But, my constant result is complete and utter overwhelm, burnout, exhaustion, frustration, and despair.

Every time I decide, today is the day when I am going to succeed, inevitably I fail.

It is time to recognize a reality. I’m not perfect. I’m just me. I can only do what I can do, nothing more.

And THAT’S OK!

In fact, it is GOOD! 

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Lessons from My Relationship with God

Called to Motherhood – Recognizing your worth in a vocation that seems thankless

I’m not going to lie, up until pretty much writing this post, I’ve resented being a mother. I see “I <3 being a mom” shirts and people tell me, “Just enjoy it, they grow up so fast” …but all I feel is jealousy and my blood starting to boil a little bit. I’m not saying I regret having children, because I don’t. I wanted them. I wanted this perfect little vision of children and motherhood that I had inside my mind.  I had visions of tea parties and family board games (without pieces flying everywhere).  I had visions of listening to my children laugh and play nicely together while I got things done nearby. I had visions of perfectly clean, little smiley angels who minded when I asked them nicely to do things as long as I was reasonable. I had visions of enjoying teaching my cooperative, attentive and eager little ones to read and learn about life, language, nature and God as they hung on my every word. I had visions of enjoying motherhood!

But I didn’t envision

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Building a Relationship with God, Lessons from My Relationship with God, Living a Relationship with God

Why, God? – Exploring God’s reasons behind what He asks of Us

Why, God?

Why me? Why this? Why now? Why do these things happen to me?

Why must I constantly give more? Why does it feel like the more I give, the more you want to take?  Why do you never let me feel like what I’ve given is good enough?

Why do I feel so alone, like you have abandoned me to do this on my own?

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Lessons from My Relationship with God

“I don’t have time for this” …. God’s teachable moments

I was trying to get ready to leave on a trip with my husband. We were finally completely packed and ready to go… all I had left to do was put the kids to bed so we could wake up bright and early the next morning and head out….Then I remembered how I meant to fertilize all the plants and quickly spray down our fruit trees before we left. So, we all went outside… Fertilizer went well but, when I went to put the fruit tree spray in the hose attachment to do the trees, I discovered that there were two rather large cracks in the bottom of the container. Oil based bug spray concentrate was pouring everywhere!!!

Commence parental freakout!

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Impact of a Relationship with God, Lessons from My Relationship with God

What does a truly extraordinary life look like?

We go through life surviving.  We strive to be “normal”.  We want to fit in.  We want to get by.  We want to just be comfortable.  But there is so much more to life than normal, so much more than ordinary.

There is a special plan for each and every one of us. We were created by love, for love. We were created for Paradise, for perfection, for greatness for fulfillment (see Longing).

But, this world falls short of what we were created for. We lose hope. We lose focus. We lose sight of our value and our purpose.

We need a reminder. We need to come back to what really matters. We need to remember that we are particularly called.

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Lessons from My Relationship with God

The Capacity of a Heart…

I thought Tarcisius was going to be a dejavu child, a replica, an afterthought, a double take. After all, when he was born he looked indistinguishable from my others and his birthday is the same week as 2 of them. I thought that the fact that we didn’t travel during his pregnancy to pick out his name (like we have with all the others) would make him less special. I thought that somehow he was going to get lost in the busyness of 4 children. I thought that he would forever live in the shadow of my first boy who even daddy is jealous of most of the time. I thought I wouldn’t have enough love to go around and that I wouldn’t be a good enough mom once I was stretched this thin… but I was wrong.

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Lessons from My Relationship with God

In the Face of the Cross… A reflection on Psalm 22

Last week I was told to reflect on Psalm 22. I had been crying to my friend about the trials of bedtime with 4 littles and a tired mommy especially when daddy isn’t there to help…. and my prayer was a beautiful experience, not just, I think, for mothers but for anyone trying to live out any vocation or, simply, a truly Christian life.

The Psalm is meant to be a foreshadowing of Christ’s sufferings at Calvary and the biggest shock I had was how much I related to it – how we all can relate – how much it felt like the Psalmist was describing my own life at that moment (minus the melodramatic psalmist vocabulary choices – or maybe with them – I’ll let you decide – haha).

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Lessons from My Relationship with God

God designs our seasons… Happy Lent!

When God has a plan it trumps everything else.

I knew I would probably go into labor this week but that was the tiniest fraction of what would happen. After nearly 3 days of false labor Adam and I pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that “the kid was never coming out” and relaxed once again into our normal schedule.

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Lessons from My Relationship with God

Called to Live in the Present Moment – Appreciating Simple Beauty Again

When we focus on what we want and what we need we can have a tendency to forget what we already have. Last night I had a moment that reminded me again of the beauty of living in the present.

Lately I have been a nervous wreck. I’m finally full term pregnant with #4 and it feels like I’m a First Time Mom all over again.  I’ve been worried and anxious and even started hallucinating about being in labor, but still nothing. I have been freaking out about my older three kids being sick right as baby is due and how germy my house will be. My anxiousness and impatience has been zapping what little energy I have and causing me to be a bit of a grouchy wife and mama.  

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Lessons from My Relationship with God

Stop Fighting and Start Loving – Ending the Pro-Choice, Pro-life Battle…

I have been trying to stay out of all this politics garbage because of all the beloved friends I have on both sides of the issue. I have felt the pain of women dear to my heart as they confessed to me that felt they had to no choice but to make decisions they try not to regret. I am also a mother who sees every day the beauty of the life of my children. I have personally experienced my own capacity for love grow to lengths I didn’t know were possible because of them. I am pro-love. I am pro-life. I am pro-woman. And I am so sick of all the fighting, bickering, bantering, arguing, attacking, and defensiveness. I am sick of everyone trying to be right and prove everyone else wrong… I can no longer hold back.

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